Mordacious

As usual I’ve been tied up with school, work and useless shit. It’s so depressing.

Well, I was feeling fine until I began browsing through DeviantART and I stumbled across =Viviphyd‘s work. It’s a lot of speed paintings, but he has movement mastered. I especially like this peice despite it’s simplicity. Wow, the characters look so alive sometimes, even if their face/clothes are indiscernible. It makes me realize that if I really want to write and draw my own comics, I’d better just PRACTICE and stop worrying about the little things. I mean, seriously, I fucking fret about the shape of the face for a half an hour sometimes; who the hell cares? Just me. I need to get over it and let loose. I need to speed draw/paint, write down all of my ideas and just relax. Maybe I’ll actually end up drawing shit or maybe I’ll end up with something I like.

Anyways, things are alright I suppose. I’m not sad, angry or happy; just kinda okay. Oh. I’m tired, that’s for sure. I’m tired of dealing with customers at work, using fake smiles and talking about shit. Ugh. I got stuck behind some ass at Walgreens this morning, who wouldn’t stop talkin’ to the cashier about some man who shot a 32 pt buck. Just, wow. Sure, I’ll bet the creature was probably beautiful, but it certainly isn’t any longer. It was fucking killed. For what? So people can brag? Stuff it on a wall? Holy crap people, I don’t want to hear how excited you were to hear this news. So shallow. Ugh, I just, I can’t even begin to express my thoughts in words. Honestly, what idiots.

He was so excited about this guy who killed this deer that he had to hold up the whole line just to tell the cashier about it! The hell?

So many people are just stupid and, going back to =Viviphyd’s journal, I realized that I’m tired of dealing with them; they’re so ignorant! And willingly so. I can’t say that I’m perfect, but at least I’m making an effort. I feel like I’m really tuned into some issues, and chances are that I’m deathly ignorant of others. I have my opinions and I stand for them. I’m also open to listening to the opposite side and if it’s compelling, I look into it. In fact, I hear about the opposite side all the time when I’m frank about my opinions.

Seriously, when I’m asked “why are you a vegetarian?” (I constantly get this one), I tell them all my reasons because I’ve really thought it through. I’ll ask them why they eat meat and the only answer they really have is “it tastes good.” It’s not like I’m asking everyone to become vegetarians; I’m asking people to be aware of the consequences of eating meat and to take action against them (if they see it necessary). Animals don’t have to be killed the way that they are; there are better ways to do it and I’d like to see things change. I don’t think “because it tastes good” is a good reason not to take action against the way the animals are being slaughtered.

Fuck. Look at me go. I swear, I was just about to go into animal rights again. I can’t help it. I empathize with them more. They don’t destroy and torture things like the human race does. People are so selfish. They hurt their own, things they deem lower and the world we’re living in. It’s disgusting, and I wish I had somewhere else to go.

I know why I feel shitty; it’s  because I have to live with it, with the idea that everything I do hurts somebody else. Our world is so developed, so molded. Just turning on a light is condoning the destruction of animals and other people. I can’t stop thinking of it and it’s fucking overwhelming. I want to let it go, or crawl off to a hole somewhere.

I don’t know if venting helps or makes it worse sometimes. Though there’s not much else to do right this moment. I guess I’ll try speed drawing or something. Anything to get my mind off in another, more productive, direction.

Kris